How do we deal with our sex drive before we get married? -Single lady in pain
Um, cold showers, take up a hobby, think about baseball? Actually, baseball is mostly played by young men in good shape wearing tight pants, so that is probably a bad strategy for gals.
It is a tough situation. The reality is that for much of human history, and definitely in the time when Bible was written, people got married right around the time they were hitting puberty and developing sexual urges. Nowadays, the average age of marriage in the United States has moved into late 20s, and is climbing. And if you are waiting for marriage to have sex (which Christians should be- there I officially said it) that is a mighty long wait.
Acknowledging those things is important, because your sex drive should not be a point of shame or embarrassment. It is a natural thing. And a certain amount of frustration at having to hold it at bay for this long also makes sense. That is important because coming to terms with that will make it much easier to deal with the issue in a healthy way. If you get wound up on churchy nonsense that if you really loved Jesus you would never be horny until your wedding night, that will warp your brain until you can’t look at the problem directly in the eye to address it.
There is not way to tranquilize your sex drive until later when you need it. The best way to channel it and keep it from driving you insane is to get in motion in your romantic life. Things like engaging in online dating, going to a singles group, and going on dates will put that built up energy to in a forward direction. That will feel much less frustrating than sitting around waiting for something to happen.
Christians sometimes have this fear that if they start to engage romantically, they will just pounce on the first person they have coffee with because they have so much pent up. That’s pretty unlikely. What is much more likely is that if you start connecting with someone in a healthy romantic relationship, doing some handholding, some enthusiastic smooching, that will take some of the edge off, because you will be feeling some intimacy and affection that is a big part of the drive you are feeling now.
It makes sense that you want to have sex, and romance, and intimacy in your life. God designed you that way. He also designed you to be an active participant in your own life, including your love life. Having some forward motion in your romantic life, if you have good, smart boundaries, will actually make that process much less frustrating than sitting around thinking about how you are about to explode.
-Matt from The Bridge
BOOM! hahaha! not a fashionista but just comfortable with my own style.
Something from Facebook
not all good and sweet things can come from tumblr ;)
I just want to apply some lesson I’ve learned on love and happiness.
There are times when we see ourself and just hate what has become of us because of sin. Remember to live what God has created you and just give love to others. It is not about if we love ourself little or more but rather if we apply the love of God to ourself and pass it on to others"
note to self Feb 2014